Don't Look Back
by MrsKSalvatore
Summary: Each time Stefan kissed her, Elena wished from the bottom of her heart that she would once again begin to feel the passion he bestowed upon her at the beginning of their relationship. Each time they made love, she wished she could feel her heart melting as it used to. Deep down she knew, it was time to say goodbye. Delena, rated M for later chapters .
1. Don't Look Back

**A/N**_This is my first FanFiction for years, and my very first Vampire Diaries story. I hope you all enjoy though!_

**Disclaimer**:_ I do not own anything to do with The Vampire Diaries.__  
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* * *

"Stefan, I need to get away and forget the drama for a while" Elena said, knowing she was breaking his heart. "We've been through so much, and I can't bear to lose anyone else. This isn't about us, this is about me, finally getting a chance to discover who I am without anyone by my side day and night."

"But what about us, Elena? I wanted a life with you; I'd do anything for you."

"It's just not what I want anymore, Stefan. Leaving you isn't breaking my heart like it would have done months ago. I can't keep up this facade, I can't string you along anymore. I'm sorry."

With that, Elena Gilbert did the hardest thing she'd ever done, turned her back and walked with her head high out of the Salvatore Mansion. She walked past all the memories she'd made in the house. The first time she'd kissed Stefan, the night she'd found out about vampires, the first time she met Damon, among so many other things she sometimes thought she'd rather forget. But forgetting would be running and she didn't want to run away. She wanted to walk, chin up, and never look back. She got into her car and began to drive. She didn't get far before the tears came, so she pulled over and cried. Cried for all the lives lost, cried for the people unwillingly so involved in saving her. She cried because deep down she knew she couldn't come back to this town, too much had happened here.

She thought about all the reasons she had to leave and tried to make sense of what her life had become, after all, she was just a teenage girl and these days she felt lonely in a crowded room, and as though she had no one who she could share that loneliness with. Stefan had his own problems to deal with, what with fighting the bloodlust every day. Caroline was an amazing and strong friend, but she no longer felt as though she had anything in common with her. Elena found the only person she could really talk to these days, was the one person she never thought she could find it in her heart to forgive. Damon had caused her so much pain, but she also laughed louder when he was around, smiled brighter, and for a few fleeting seconds every now and again, he made her feel as though she would be okay. If she'd ever told anyone this she knew what it would look like, history repeating, she'd heard it all before. Truth was, she wasn't in love with Damon, but she also wasn't in love with Stefan so what was she meant to do? String them both along as Katherine had. Play one against the other to keep herself amused? Try them both out? All these thoughts disgusted her, and pushing it all to the back of her mind, she carried on to complete her journey.

Pulling in to the cemetery, she got a feeling that someone was watching her, giving her a sense of de ja vu from when Stefan had first come into town, that seemed like a lifetime ago now. She strode down the path with determination, so close to getting out of this town for good.

She took a seat next to her parents, Jenna's and John's graves and started with her goodbyes. "This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I can't come back here, and I'm sure you understand why..." she was cut off by a noise behind her. "Actually, I don't understand. And leaving without saying goodbye? I thought more of you than that, Elena" and with those words, and that signature smirk, she knew she that leaving wouldn't be as easy as she had thought.

* * *

Stefan watched her walk away in silence. He let her words wash over him and tried to make sense of what had just happened. He had always tried his best to be the attentive human boyfriend she needed, but when it came down to it, he was a vampire. He put her life in danger every day just by being around her. Yet, he couldn't let her go, and now she had made the choice for him. The pain he felt as she'd said those words was unimaginable and now he had nothing, no-one and no purpose.

* * *

Caroline had seen people upset, she'd seen heartbreak and maybe even depression, but this was different. The Stefan she saw in front of her, her mentor and friend, he was broken. When he had turned up on her doorstep, Caroline thought another threat had come to town, that someone was in danger and she was ready to fight. The real reason was not what she ever expected, and as Stefan told the story of how Elena was leaving town and not coming back, Caroline understood why he was broken and why he refused to try and understand what Elena was going though.

Eventually, when he had calmed down, he went out to hunt and Caroline phoned the only person she could think of.

"Can you explain to me why your brother just turned up on my doorstep with his heart ripped out?"

"Barbie, you already know that answer to that question, or else you wouldn't be calling. I'm on it."

With that she was left alone and just hoped that Elena would listen to him. Recently she had seen the bond there; Elena trusted him, valued his opinion and would listen to what he had to say. What worried Caroline was that in the end it may not be Stefan who Elena stayed for.


	2. Freefallin'

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Vampire Diaries or the song "Freefallin'"**

* * *

"_Actually, I don't understand. And leaving without saying goodbye? I thought more of you than that, Elena" and with those words, and that signature smirk, she knew that leaving wouldn't be as easy as she had thought._

* * *

"Damon..." she gasped, "how did you find me here? You weren't meant to find me..."

"Well, Elena, I heard you were leaving," he said in a sing song voice, before adding more seriously "I wanted to at least be able to say goodbye."

"I didn't want to make it harder than it already is Damon. I can't explain my reasons and I can't justify hurting anyone. I just need time to figure out if this really is the life I want for myself. Vampires? Werewolves? Witches? It's the stuff of fairytales and bad dreams and I don't know how much more I can take."

"Nice speech Elena, but I'm not buying. So, let's get you home and we can talk about it properly."

"What if I don't want to talk, Damon? I'm sick of talking. I want to live my life, do all the things I should be allowed to, without having to look over my shoulder, or count on someone to save me when things go wrong."

Damon sighed, taking in the sight of Elena looking so broken and disheartened. He hated seeing her look so sad, her eyes, usually so full of light and optimism now brimming with tears threatening to spill over.

Elena looked at Damon, looking at her and in that moment she realised how much he cared for her, despite all those times she had pushed him away, told him she didn't want his help. He was still the one who came looking for her, he didn't run from a problem he faced it head on and dealt with the consequences afterwards. Damon had always been the one to fight her and to push her further, he was never afraid to piss her off, because he knew that in the end he would be the one to save her, consequences be damned.

After what seemed like an eternity of staring each other down and trying to figure out what the other was thinking, she finally uttered three words he thought he'd never hear from her lips, words that took him a while to process and even still he looked around to ensure his brother wasn't lurking...

"Come with me."

* * *

Stefan had returned to the boarding house after hunting, he could not accept what Elena was doing, and he was determined to get her to change her mind. After everything they had been through together he could not understand why he could not be by her side. He had thought they loved each other, although now, he thought, maybe it was just a fantasy that both of them wanted to believe.

As he drank away his sorrow, something which was rare and more his brother's taste, he spotted a note on the windowsill in his bedroom...

Stefan,

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I've gone with Elena, I'll keep her safe, and we'll be back sooner than you think.

Be safe brother,

Damon

And with that short note, Stefan's purpose became lost to him. He flew down the basement at vampire speed and ravaged the blood bags in the freezer. Then he cried.

* * *

Caroline found Stefan the next morning, in the basement of the Salvatore house, having also received a note from Damon, she knew that Stefan would need help. She was prepared for the scene that greeted her and was glad of the lack of dead bodies, only empty blood bags.

"Stefan, get up! Is this how you fight for the woman you love?" She shouted at him. "Because if this is what you do, maybe you don't deserve her."

Caroline knew her words were harsh, but she needed Stefan to be able to fight, and with the blood he had just drunk, he needed to fight the bloodlust as well. Over the past few months Caroline had picked up on a lot of insecurities and losing Elena to Damon was his greatest fear. Now that Elena had gone away with Damon she knew it was going to be a battle to get Stefan back to normal, but she knew she had to do it.

"Maybe I don't deserve her Caroline, this is what I am. A Ripper. I'm designed to kill, so are you, maybe we should just embrace it. Damon will end up killing Elena anyway and then I won't have to worry about protecting her anymore. So just leave!" He shouted the last three words, just as Caroline stuck a vervain dart in his arm.

Stefan had been taken unawares and fell to the ground as the vervain made its way around his system. Caroline dragged him to the cell and locked him in, vowing to stay with him as he "dried out". Then they would go and find Damon and Elena.

* * *

Racing down a highway on the way to an unknown destination, Elena felt guilty. Damon put the top down on his car and she was enjoying the wind in her hair, listening to the radio and singing at the top of her voice,

"_And I'm free, I'm free fallin'  
All the vampires walkin' through the valley_

_Move west down Ventura Blvd_

_And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows_

_All the good girls are home with broken hearts_

She felt guilty and yet liberated and she couldn't help grinning as she threw her hands up and sung even louder, enjoying the feeling of being free and not caring about making a fool of herself. She never worried about that in front of Damon because he never judged her for anything, no matter how bad her decisions.

_And I'm free, I'm free fallin'_

_I wanna glide down over Mulholland_

_I wanna write her name in the sky_

_I wanna free fall out into nothin'_

_Gonna leave this world for awhile_

_And I'm free, I'm free fallin'"_

Damon smiled as Elena sung, he felt as though this could be a new start for them. As he raced down the highway he had a renewed sense of hope for himself, and for the girl who stole his un-beating heart.


End file.
